Just in case you’re wondering, typically, ice cream and flash drives just don’t mix. Yep, imagine a nice, sleek 32 gigabyte flash drive (one you just smarted out $149 for) and you’ve got it on your keychain, in your right hand. Then imagine you’re at the local ice cream store (Summer’s/Bonkey’s for me – ouch, excuse the pink font) with one of those monster (believe, me, they are mammoth) ice cream sundaes in your left hand. And then, from out of nowhere, your preschool aged son comes flying toward you, knocks your right hand, and … yep, you guessed it. $149 + $3.99 = a yummy ice cream sundae a la very expensive flash drive on the asphalt. Ruined is an understatement.
So, if ice cream and flash drives don’t typically mix, how could someone find the “neutral ground” and bring these two rivals together onto peaceable terms?
Here’s a simple suggestion: Let’s say you’re an ice cream salesman. You drive around endlessly visiting these small town ice cream shops and try to persuade them to buy your latest flavors, ice cream toppings, cones, bowls, you name it. While driving around in a mini freezer truck might have its advantages (think of how much more persuasive actual samples might be to an ice cream shop crew & owner), it’s probably not too realistic in these days of high gas prices and labor and accidents. So, scratch the mini freezer truck; in fact, scratch the driving salesman. It’s just not that efficient any more. Instead of all of these nice marketing luxuries, you’re stuck in the cubicle making phone call after phone call to small town ice cream shops who are open limited times (usually after you’ve gone home for the day) and, even when they do answer the phone, they’re too busy to spend a good 15 minutes talking to a salesman. In fact, their boss has probably instructed them to chuck any sales calls into the local wastebasket. And we all know what smelly things grow inside ice cream shop garbage pails (think: very, very brown banana peels).
No, that won’t work either. So you’re left with what everybody else does: they send out glossy printed, smooth to your touch, brochures touting their unique flavors and ice cream toppings and everything else. But how will you make your glossy brochure stand out from the crowd? After all, every other competitor in ice cream valley is busy hiring printers to do the same. Their marketing teams spend all day drooling over what succulent imagery to include that will “most certainly” make the coldest small town ice cream shop employees fall head over heels into persuading their shop’s owner to add yet another item to his already crowded list of ice creams he carries.
Nope … let’s be creative. Let’s hear for the return to “ice cream and the flash drive.” Instead of pouring your hard earned company’s marketing bucks into printing millions of supersized glossy brochures that will merely end up as floor paper to soak up the latest milkshake machine leak, let’s go the technical route with something snazzy the employees will be fighting over it. Think flash drives en masse. Think USB flash drives preloaded with to die for glossy images of yummy ice cream sundaes just flushed with your featured toppings; ice cream cones heaped full of your latest special flavors. Think videos of happy children and families thronging just to try the next and greatest flavors on earth. Music, camera, lights, action … you’ve got it all with preloaded flash drives.
No longer will the store owner be short on order forms – you can preload them on the USB drive. No longer will the store owner or employees forget about your company; the laser etched flash drive you give them (2 gigabytes is perfect) will have plenty of empty space on it for them to use in the shop … and whenever they plug it into the computer, your brand will proudly appear. Imagine how many “commercials” you’ll impress upon those gullible minds. Add to that catchy tunes on the drive promoting your brand and products … soon they’ll be thronging your phone lines and sending you orders like never before. Talk about effective marketing. This time you’ll see ROI like you’ve never dreamed before. Too bad they can’t press a button and have a sample spoon with the flavor of their choice pop out of the monitor …
